


how have you been?

by sejun



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, i hate myself honestly, inspired by eric chou's song, lapslock, really just a narration of woojin realising how much he fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 11:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13363311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sejun/pseuds/sejun
Summary: this is unbeta-ed so i apologise for any mistakes, also it's written in lapslock since it's just a drabble of an idea that is based loosely off eric chou's song, so please look pass all the mistakes and just.. enjoy this angsty scene





	how have you been?

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta-ed so i apologise for any mistakes, also it's written in lapslock since it's just a drabble of an idea that is based loosely off eric chou's song, so please look pass all the mistakes and just.. enjoy this angsty scene

[song link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSBXfzgqHtE)

when woojin stretches his hand out, he thought he would be able to hold the universe in his own hand, and seek whatever his heart desires. sadly, that’s not quite how this works. coupled with the steady rhythmic sound of the falling rain, the only other company in this lonely night is his muffled cries (that he wishes so desperately the rain sound would wash out). there was no way that he would have the world in his hands, because he lost the person that means the entire world to him, _park jihoon_. 

 

there was really no one else to blame but himself, and he was well aware of the very fact. he tossed and turned repeatedly on his bed, there was too little white noise (read: jihoon’s voice). he grew accustomed to falling asleep to jihoon talking about everything in the world, his singing voice or steady breathing. they say it takes twenty one days to break a habit, but it’s been forty two days and woojin is still miserable. pictures of the duo were still all around his room, he could never bring himself to clear every last trace of jihoon in his room. this was the closest he could ever feel to him after all, through the memories; and hopefully reliving every bit of it. 

 

countless number of times, his fingers lingered on the “block” button, but he never quite had it in him to do so. naturally, the aftermath of his action resulted in him scrolling through all of the things that park jihoon posts online. 

 

_jeojang: i’m late again for school….. wow i really hate how i can NEVER wake up because of all of these work i have to stay up to complete… i really want a proper rest…_

 

these are the times that woojin finds himself smiling unknowingly at his small phone screen. jihoon’s still _the_ _same boy_ who constantly finds himself late for class, _the same boy_ who stays up to work, and _the same boy_ who never gets quite enough rest. not that he’ll ever get to say this, but he wishes jihoon would go easier on himself, he wishes that he’ll ask for help when he needs, he wishes that his pride wouldn’t make things hard for him. sadly, woojin has no grounds to be wishing for all of those things for jihoon. after all, he was the one who left the relationship to crash and burn. he was the one who couldn’t put his pride down. and he was the one who didn’t take care of jihoon at all. and yet, here he is, up at three in the morning, thinking about the one boy who used to be cry, smile and share everything with him. _(he really thought that they would always care for each other, be wild and grow old together but it seems like all of those are just mere dreams now.)_

 

_how’s he doing? is he doing well? is he eating well? is he sleeping well?_ these are things that woojin constantly asks himself, although he knows that these questions would go unanswered and it’s almost rhetorica—it doesn’t stop him from wondering. the memories that he made with jihoon would always be something that he holds close to his heart, and he can only pray that it’s the same for him, that not everything was bad memories and jihoon wouldn’t be praying the opposite— to forget everything.

 

the rain gradually became heavier, it’s almost as if the sky could feel the pain going through woojin’s heart. if only someone knew just how much he regrets not treating jihoon a little better, how much he regrets he can’t spend more time by his side and how much he regrets he wasn’t the best version of himself that he could have been. 

 

_how have you been?_

 

_can you tell me you love me?_

 

_can you let me hug you?_

 

_can you tell me how your day went?_

 

_just one last time, can you do that for me?_

 

~~ _please don’t let your departure be the way that i realise what’s most important (read: you) to me._ ~~

 

_can we go back to how we were?_

**Author's Note:**

> this is also for c, thank you for loving me, i love you a whole lot, always.


End file.
